Matters of the Heart
Another heart poured out before the altar of sacrifices,
“Heart of stone,” I plead “beat again.”
So, out of my chest the heart fell too heavy on the ground and shattered.
With tears in eyes, slowly I went to console the fallen heart.
laid in pieces.
We had been through so much together,
A giddy gallop and a few skips over the edge was too far.
It was too far for this heart to travel.
I told my heart we could make it;
That the shadow of Love would be enough to restore the more that it so desired.
“This could be the answer,” I promised as we trekked along in the land of the dead.
And now here I stood beside my heart, crippled with fear,
For the first time in years I cried; my pitiful heart laying there alone on the ground.
I killed it.
I let it go hard and heavy in my chest,
Stenosed and useless to me.
No longer the vitality of my soul,
This heart believed the deception I thought was sustenance.
I cried for myself; my ribs no longer held in a heart.
Like an open cage, I had left my heart unprotected.
Hiding behind a wall
With a hole in my chest.
Staring at a heart that would never beat again.
Just as the blue began to tinge my naked finger tips, as my world slowly shook side
I wobbled to the only person I had ever seen in the land of the dead that wasn’t
But I couldn’t reach Him, I felt warmth radiate from His being but I new that I was
Once He came to me but I couldn’t look Him in the eyes for too long.
I was sure that He would never be back.
But, I sensed Him returning.
I sensed His warmth.
And there He stood, The One who died to the living to live with the dying.
“Those pieces are mine,” I argued as He stole my heart.
And for the first time I looked at the eyes of the man and
As I looked into His eyes I saw the reflection of my broken heart scattered across
the world like pieces of sand,
at that moment I saw the heart of the Creator.
Warmth surged to the tips of my fingers and toes,
the hole in my chest closed.
And my chest became a door.
A new door that I could open and close; a door with a constant knocking,
Lub dub lub dub
And every beat was the constancy of His yearning for me.
“Until we meet again, beloved.”
Words Bleed Too
I sat before an empty page and let the words speak.
“Oh my creator!”
Sear my uncooked melodies.
All of them,
“Here we are!”
Piercing giggles and
Helpless as they plead for attention.
Suddenly I’m strangled;
Laid, white, cold.
What shallow intimacy.
As they strip bear their maker.
I’m engaged to archaic exasperation.
The plight of the muffled pillow cry:
To be rendered inept of a firmly
It could mean anything.
It means everything.
But to them,
I am nothing.
Only to finalize an agreement
And suffer by a broken pen as
My blood stains parchment.
Me bleed for an eternity;
Until they were finished
And as I bled they scoffed from the stars
“Words bleed, too.”
I Am Guilty
He is poured out like water
the gathered waters he called “seas”.
And like the seas,
he washes his people until they are free of all disease.
“If you are willing, make me clean”
the man came begging on his knees
“I am willing”, He said “be clean”
to this man he gave the keys
to the kingdom, the man went driving
told the world of all he’d seen
that they could be a son or daughter
of the Father who is unseen
Love at the price of slaughter
with this blood we’ve been redeemed
the God who brings us to the water
like his sheep in fields of green
This is what I mean:
He anointed the holy temple of his people
then those he appointed took a few too many sleep pills
In Gethsemene we see the sequel
of disciples who were Adam’s narcoleptic equal
veil torn; battle born with the destruction of the steeple
In 3 days he would rebuild
with a cross upon a steep hill
the promise of the gospel that humanity could be refill-ed
with the power of His glory, HOLY SPIRIT instilled
in the hearts of those who chose to love, who chose to do His will.
“Crucify Him” they yelled
Crucify the God of Is-ra-el!
Humbled to the point of death
you chose to give us your last breath
SO now we stand in awe
of the one who gave it all
the promises that the old testament addressed
were no longer exclusive to the way priests dressed
A final sacrif-ICE to atone for rights
would suff-ICE as an offering
to spark the light
within us the fire would ignite
a movement of love, of a willingness to fight
for peace; its the reason our Christ died
to come beside the helpless that’s why they crucified
him; even Peter 3x denied him; the blameless son of God they despised
him and nailed him to the cross thinking they could hide
sins. But there the sins stayed plastered
on the cross of innocence they festered
feeding on the flesh of love himself
the sins consumed the dove itself
While bibles stay up on our shelf
we crucify his flesh ourselves.
Not seeing that complacence keeps our light diminished
and stagnance keeps our might extinguished.
Jesus declared “it is finished”
his perfect love remains unblemished
and still we leave his work unfinished
by timing love and giving limits
by not stopping for just 2 minutes
His love is made complete
when we show them our receipt
“Paid in full” for all who’re incomplete
rather than walking in our vain conceit.
On the cross you prayed in anguish
crying out in another language
and there you hung upon a tree.
“Oh Messiah, hear my plea. ”
Father, Father can’t you see
the guilty one is me.
When Alone Faded
My days have been but a shallow breath in a vast sea.
Come and go as you please.
But don’t leave me here alone.
My nights have been hopeful prayers tossed into the stars.
Come and go as you please.
But don’t leave me here alone.
I ran into Always the other day and he said he missed you.
He saw you sitting in forever, alone.
Sitting in time, forever, alone.
So, he rescued you.
He chose you and took all of you
All of you and made you one.
That’s when alone faded
When Alone Faded for me was when I came to know Jesus Christ as my living savior. People see the name Jesus Christ and they stop reading. What is it about his name that makes people uncomfortable?
I came to recognize the shortness of my own individual life compared with the timelessness of the generations that have past and those to come. It wasn’t this incredibly life changing story but simply a decision made in a time of confusion and loneliness.
It’s crazy how you can be surrounded by people but feel utterly alone. To be left alone in the short time of life that we have on earth is tragic. I don’t mean physically or emotionally alone, though those parts are important. I’m speaking of an Alone that comes from within. This emptiness that no one or thing can fully fill. This part of you that wants something that can satisfy and though there are many things that help there’s nothing that ever gets to the root and fills you up from base to brim.
Some of us have been granted many supportive people to love on us and build us up but others have not been so fortunate. I have found that for the weary there is rest, for the lonely there is peace, and for the unloved there is love found in Christ.
Every common grace under the sun is given by God. That grace can be shown in the simplest things like that one person who could finally silence the lies and hurt built up over many years, the baby that makes you promise to be better, the heartbreak that makes you rethink everything, the death of a loved one that makes you wonder if there is something more.
Sometimes we feel like we are just throwing prayers to an abyss. Night after night searching for an answer and never expecting to find one. See but then there comes a point where we either encounter something real or we don’t allow ourselves to feel anything towards God.
We fill up on distraction and go on with our lives as if there is no God simply because it is easier. It’s easier only because God is not a fairy godmother who exists only when we need him. One that if he doesn’t answer how we want and when we want he doesn’t exist.
He always answers but we almost never hear what we want from this invisible entity of the skies. Whether it comes in the form of the love of a human, a heavy conviction, a terrible burden, an awesome miracle, the answer to a prayer; he answers. Come to know the real Christ, not simply some religious social construct but a person whose grace and mercy awaken greatness in those who are willing to lay down their lives to serve humanity as Jesus did.
The Christ was a man who walked on the waters, spoke to the sea, raised the dead to life, broke the religious rules of his day to serve a love greater than what most people are willing to accept; he died on a cross for the sins of man that we would know forgiveness.
What does this mean? For every person who faces injustice there is justice because for every act of injustice there is a price to be paid. In the place of the death every person must face one day there is a life that overcomes. For the darkness that every man faces there is a light that can penetrate even the darkest places and awaken even the heaviest sleepers. We don’t have to live in a broken world.
The answer is a Man who began his journey long before time and finished it on the cross so that we would know that God had not forsaken us. So that we would know that the invisible entity of the sky -the just God of the universe- was more than an idea, and He came and embodied the humblest man to ever walk on this earth. A carpenter man born of a virgin to save humanity. Who would have thought? Now how do I come to know the person of Jesus? Come to God with humility and a genuine desire for truth and see the revelation of grace unravel before you, but remember to really listen.
The love of Jesus means that no matter where you are, who you are, or how you come: you are loved, you are worthy of love, and you never have to live in fear or loneliness.
People of Zion
Stars are burning fire and from miles away in the most vast abyss of darkness. Yet, you somehow see the light of their hugely intense but minutely perceived luminescence. Moral of the story: It’s easy to be light. Just turn on and shed the excess weight.
Camilla, my sister, has been gifted with an amazing passion for all things literature. Here she will be sharing the words that God lays on her heart to speak to His people. Enjoy!